A fear of the future

There are two things I fear: death and failure.

That's real talk.

Even though tomorrow is guaranteed for no one, at the age of 22, I am more concerned with living today than dying tomorrow. As for failure, that's a totally different story.

Three weeks into my reign of terror as DE sports editor and I have met my fair share of challenges and successes. For example, in addition to my supreme blogging skills, I have premiered two new video featurettes. One sports talk feature,"The Sports Lounge," usually is inspired by columnist Scott Mieszala. The other is "The Sports Huddle" which features a panel of "experts" discuss Saluki sports and stuff beyond Salukiville.

So far they have come with rave reviews from those inside the newsroom and outside as well. It makes me feel as if I have accomplished something. And that's all I've always wanted since I stepped foot onto the campus of SIUC. I have been hellbent on making an impact on the DE if I ever had the opportunity.

However, everything isn't rainbows and sugar cookies.

I've had my struggles embracing my full role. Going to meetings, editing all stories. It's not as if I'm not up to the challenge ... I am. I just feel as if I am not doing the best job.

I've talked to a few people and they say I'm putting too much pressure on myself. Some have said that I'm doing a good job and I should not worry about being perfect because perfection is only an idea. Some said I'm doing more than what is expected of me, which is good, but I'm taking work to seriously.

There are parts of me that agree with all of the above. I put pressure on myself, but it's what I do. I want to succeed and look good doing so. I figure if the newspaper looks good, then I will look good. Implementing these new videoss I think will help myself and the newspaper. It's a breath of fresh air that I'm glad I was able to provide.

In the end, I'll wake up in the morning, hop on the MVC coaches call and resume my Tuesday just as I would any other Tuesday. I figure if I take Coach Lowery's advice and approach every day on a day-by-day basis, life will be better.

Until then, I'm going to be dreaming of a snow day in Carbondale.

I agree